The Truth is… Abortion is Healthcare

I want to share my story. I’ve never had an abortion. And I’d like to explain why.

Eleven years ago I sat in a diner across from my now husband, Dave. I ordered a BLT and a Coke with the understanding that I probably wouldn’t be eating cured meats or consuming caffeine for a while. My period was a week late. 

We went back to his house and I took a pregnancy test, something I had done before, but it felt different this time. Two lines showed up immediately. It was official. I was pregnant. Unmarried and living 3,000 miles away from my family. 

This was not the plan. But here we were. At an impasse that would significantly impact both of our paths and the relatively new relationship we were in.

During the time it took me to walk from the bathroom out to the living room to deliver the news, I did a quick inventory of my options and repercussions for those choices. I knew I wanted kids, but not right now. I also didn’t want to go through having an abortion or be left to wonder if I would regret that decision. Although I had been raised Catholic, I had unloaded that baggage long ago, so there were no internal feelings that I would burn in hell or anything, just that I may actually really want this baby. 

I considered the prospect of being a mother, without any knowledge of just how hard it is to care for and raise a child, and it scared the shit out of me. I thought about all of the independence and freedom that I cherished and how much I would miss that. 

But I was also 29 years old and had completed my education, traveled a bit, and had a fulfilling full-time job which provided me with the necessary health insurance to access proper prenatal and postpartum care for both me and my baby. The only thing left to do was ensure that I had a supportive partner who was as committed to caring for and raising this baby as I was, regardless of what may become of our relationship. 

I’m sure he could tell by my facial expressions, but once I gave him the news that I was pregnant, I waited for his reaction. He opened his arms to embrace me in a hug, pulled me in, and said, “It’s going to be ok.” 

It wasn’t the plan, at all, but because I was supported and would be able to provide myself and my baby with everything we needed to ensure a healthy and safe pregnancy, I CHOSE to keep the pregnancy. But it was a CHOICE. And if I had felt in any way different, I know Dave would have supported me in that choice as well. Michael is the light of our lives, along with his younger brothers, and I am so happy I made the choice that I did, but this choice was not for anyone else to make, nor is it my place to force that choice on others.

I never imagined in my wildest dreams that a mere decade later, the right to make that decision would be stripped away for so many Americans. As a woman, mother, and doula it is so beyond comprehension that the younger generation will have less rights over their reproductive health decisions than I did and continue to have as someone living in New Jersey in 2022. It is not lost on me that this right could evaporate with a simple change in administration. 

The far reaching ripple effects this decision will have on Black women will only increase the maternal mortality rates, which are already disproportionately much higher than their white counterparts. The racial disparities will also continue to grow in the areas of poverty, mental health, and academics. Learn more about the dangerous and deadly implications this decision will have in Linda Goler Blount’s recent OpEd in the Los Angeles Times and if you’re able, please donate to National Network of Abortion Funds to support these communities.

As someone who has experienced pregnancy loss and advocates for the pregnancy loss and infertility communities, I am horrified by what this means for them. If someone isn’t provided safe medical treatment for ectopic pregnancies, they will die. Can you imagine being forced to carry an unviable pregnancy to term only to have to watch that baby die once they are born? These are only some examples of potential consequences of this decision. The emotional toll and trauma that these people will have to live with for the rest of their lives, (if they survive) is unquantifiable. You can learn more about how this will impact the pregnancy loss community in Jessica Grose’s OpEd in the New York Times.

One in eight families who struggle with infertility are now in jeopardy of losing the option of using IVF and other Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART). This also has implications for those seeking to build their family through surrogacy or embryo donation/adoption. Learn more about how this decision may impact IVF here.

The cascade of undoing rights in other areas will feel like an avalanche. Same sex marriage. Contraception. Gender affirming health care. It’s all on the chopping block.

I have been an eternal optimist when it comes to the fight for democracy. Even after Trump, I had hope that we could overcome the mess he made. This decision is something that will take generations to undo, just as it took generations to achieve. I am distraught and angry and I will use that energy to fight for as long as it takes, but it should have never come to this. 

We are in a public health crisis that’s about to get a lot worse. We need every single able-bodied American who believes in the humanity of all people to do their part. There is no option for sitting on the sidelines. Here are just some of the ways you can use your voice, time, and money to stay active and involved. If we work collectively and all take responsibility, my hope is that we can change the course of history.